I LOVE SUMMER because the beautiful weather is enthralling, the long days are enchanting, and the events are entertaining. There’s so much to love I can’t fit it all in one column, so rather than trying to do that, I’ll just tell you what I hate about summer.
Maybe I’m a curmudgeon for saying this, but I can’t wait until it gets cold again. Not because I like cold weather, but because freezing temperatures curtail much of the foolishness that summer seems to invite.
When summer rolls around, a fleet of old cars hits the road with concert-quality stereo systems. As they roll through town, rattling their rusty fenders and flaunting their oversize tires, I am forced to listen to the profanity-laced musical stylings of MC Dumb Dumb. Maybe I could deal with it if the volume wasn’t set to Sonic Boom, but evidently, there are rules that keep the bass in your face.
If a car playing MC Dumb Dumb’s Greatest Hits near a family with children, the driver is obligated under Section 5 of the Cursing Rapper Accords to play said music as loudly as possible while repeating the words, “Turn down for what?”
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Illustration by Richard Harrington
Solomon Jones is an Essence bestselling author and award-winning columnist. He is the creator and editor of Solomonjones.com. Click here to learn more about Solomon