Open top menu
Should she forgive and forget?

Should she forgive and forget?

TOH SMALL 11Dear Housewife:

Does forgiving mean forgetting? Some people say in order to truly forgive a person you must forget what they did. What do you think?

– Hurt in Philly


Dear Hurt in Philly: 

If I had a dollar for every time I had to forgive, I would be a millionaire! Half of that would be from forgiving my husband!  Frankly, while I think that it is humanly impossible to forget some offenses, I do, however, think that it is possible to remember them differently.  What I mean is that the association of that person with the offense no longer has the same amount of sting.  We are not bitter.   It is physically and mentally unhealthy to be unforgiving.  When we choose to forgive and forget (or remember differently), both the offender and ourselves are released from the prison of bitterness.   Some people associate forgetting with “picking up where you left off” with the offender.  This may not be wise depending on the offense.  There is a saying, “You burn me once, shame on you.  Burn me twice, shame on me.”   Sometimes it may be best to part on peaceful terms.

(Featured Illustration by Jim McHugh. Homepage image Copyright 2014 by CanStock Photo)

LaVeta Jones
Written by LaVeta Jones