A FEW WEEKS ago, LaVeta’s nephew and his wife welcomed a bouncing baby girl. I was happy for them. But I couldn’t help laughing, because new parents have no idea what they’re in for.
They think it’s all cooing and kisses. They believe it’s all sunshine and light. They swear that their baby won’t do the things that infants are obligated to do.
Well, as a father of three, I’d like to drop some serious truth on every new parent who’s reading this. Your baby will eventually do something that will make you want to stick pins in your eyes. For your sake, I hope they do it while they’re little. At least then you might be able to clean it up.
I know some new parents are reading this and saying, “Not my baby! My baby is the best thing that’s ever happened to anyone, anywhere, ever!”
You’re right, of course, and you’ll be right until the projectile vomiting begins. Take heart, though. The hurling is just the beginning.
CLICK HEREto read the rest of this column in the Philadelphia Daily News and Philly.com
(Featured illustration by Richard Harrington)