ON SATURDAY, I came home to something I don’t often experience as a man with a wife and kids.
I came home to an empty house.
My 12-year-old daughter, Eve, was at my mother’s for the weekend, and 9-year-old Solomon was out with my wife, LaVeta. The only one at home was the cat, Styx. She stared at me expectantly as I sat down on the bed, no doubt waiting to see how I would use my newfound freedom.
I was hesitant at first. I thought it was a belated April Fool’s joke, because there was no way my family would let me have Saturday to myself. If I opened the door, banana cream pies would launch, and LaVeta’s fake Vincent Price laugh would echo through the house.
Or maybe it was some sort of experiment. Little Solomon wants to be a scientist, after all. Suppose he and his science buddies were hiding behind a two way mirror, waiting to bound and gag me and take me to the Lego Store as part of some evil experiment?
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Featured illustration by Richard Harrington